Six Days on the Road

Just a quick update right now; more to come later in the week when I've had some time to gather my thoughts from the cannabis fog that has enveloped them lately. I'm in the Pacific Northwest, and that means they issue you drugs as you cross the border like the way you get an engineering manual and a stolen gold tooth when you enter Germany. (Note: this may not actually happen.)

The first few days I spent in Northern California and Oregon, I lived the rough road, hitting a couple of national parks areas and camping out. Yes, I, the fattest laziest urbanite in the world, am actually capable of assembling a tent and sleeping in the out-of-doors just like a person who isn't completely spoiled by to-go barbecue and remote controls. Even more terrifyingly, I'm starting to kind of enjoy it, a sensation I expect to continue until a wolf bites off one of the nicer parts of my genitalia.

Once I arrived in Portland, though, my days of roughing it were, like me, put to bed. Thanks to the ministrations of my wonderful friend Michelle and her boy Jeremy, I got to relax, watch one of the strangest movies ever made, and have a swell time at this joint. Circumstances didn't allow me to spend as much time in Portland as I'd liked to have done, but Michelle is always the perfect host, and seeing her even for a day is a reminder of how good a friend she's always been to me. Now I'm in Seattle, under the roof of Calamity Jon and Kate, who are equally gracious and are putting up with my lazy ass for an undermined amount of time while I get some work done. A real update with photos and everything is imminent, but for now, enjoy this link to yet another place I have stuffed food into my face on this trip. Seriously, I weigh like 600 pounds now, someone send me some front seat grease.

NAMES TO CONJURE WITH: In Yachats, Oregon, there is a street called Gender Lane. I like to think it intersects with another street called Race Boulevard, where people stand around awkwardly, too nervous to say anything to each other.